Life lesson in ending stuff

I had an interesting perspective this morning.

I have been doing a particularly difficult 1000 piece puzzle and it has taken me several days to do. I have done all the cathedral and now, all I had to do was finish the sky. The sky was blue and slight change in shade from light blue to dark blue. What made it extra difficult was that the puzzle pieces could easier fit in several places. This took hours of individually placing each piece in place and stepping back and looking at the overall pattern to see it fits.

This morning I packed away a puzzle.

• Yes, I had the skills to finish the puzzle
• Yes, I had the patience to finish the puzzle

But

• I could use my time doing other things
• I could use skills doing other things
• I could use my patience doing other things.

So I decided by weighting up the pros and cons that I should give up on the puzzle and pack to away (or throw it away?) and move on to something else.

My life lesson: sometimes it is better to stop doing something and just move on.

I always prided myself that I finished stuff.... mmm that's sounds like another belief worth tacking.

Oh let's rephrase it - I believe I should finish stuff. Why? Why should I finish stuff?

I had figured out this morning that sometimes the "pushing yourself to finish a task" is not worth all the other consequences that go with it.

I don't mind spending a day or two on a puzzle as a bit of time out. And, now my children are older, I can teaching them how to do difficult puzzles. It becomes a family activity. I am teaching them skills of looking for shapes and recognising patterns. Which will help them looking for things in their rooms. I can always hope.

I can always find the motivation to finish things if necessary. But what about the activities that I still haven't finished, or even better, the activities that are never finish e.g. housework.

Key word here is motivation. Somehow I need to find the motivation to finish the other activities or the motivation why I am still doing stuff.

Lets analyze the first problem: Motivation to finish.

1. What is the activity?
2. Why did I start the activity?
3. Why have I not finished the activity?
4. Has something better come along to distract me?
5. What would it mean to me to finish the activity?
6. Do I need to finish this activity?
7. Can I just leave the activity in the state is in?
8. How can I reward myself to finish it?

Second problem: Why are you still doing the activity? This flows on from the questions above but with a twist.

1. Why don't I want to finish the activity?
2. Do I enjoy this activity so much that I want to keep going?
3. Does this activity pain me and yet I continue?
4. By doing this activity - what is it stopping me doing?

For example: I did enjoy doing the puzzle it was difficult but OK fun. Then it got difficult and boring. But I continued. So...

• What is the activity? the 1000 piece puzzle
• Why did I start the activity? A time out activity with the children to do while watching TV
• Why have I not finished the activity? It is getting to difficult
• Has something better come along to distract me? No not really
• What would it mean to me to finish the activity? I could see the picture complete before putting it away again
• Do I need to finish this activity? No
• Can I just leave the activity in the state is in? No I need to pack it away. I need the room.
• How can I reward myself to finish it? No reward would be strong enough.
• Why don't I want to finish the activity? I bored with it
• Do I enjoy this activity so much that I want to keep going? No
• Does this activity pain me and yet I continue? yes
• By doing this activity - what is it stopping me doing? getting on with the mending and reading list.

By analysing the whole list of pros and cons (I have not listed them all here), it showed me that I am not a failure. Although this is the first puzzle I have given up on. I am not a failure because I made a decision that it is better to end it now and move on instead of wasting time and energy in complete a task I am not enjoying.

How many activities are there that you have that you think you should finish but can't find the motivation to finish them. Do you think you should just stop and walk away?

Leona

What's my efficient work plan?

When is your most efficient time of day? How do you management to get all the thing done that you should, have to and have got to get done. Add more people to you household (children and partners) or your life (friends clients and networking) and your jobs and to do lists just grows expediently.

So I have a long history of trying to figure out how to get the most out of my day and get the most done. I am constantly re-juggling the schedule. New activities always intervene - like sons drama classes or school holidays or relatives visiting.

I remember when I had a toddlers and a new baby (who feed every 2 - 3 hours), I felt that I had accomplished something for the day if my bed was made. And each week when that go to be a routine then I would add something else into the mix.

A couple of years again I felt that done the clothes washing when there were no dirty clothes, no clothes on the line and nothing wanting to be put away - that has not stopped by the way. My family wears too many clothes.

So how can I chuck, a very technical term, my day and get things done. I have tried different systems and read lots of books. But each stage of my life has brought different challenges and planning solutions.

So the current planning problem is when school goes back, how can I get my work done. There are activities I can do when the kids are around or they can help me with - Housework.

But starting my own home business between school hours of 9.15 to 2.40 (the hours I am actually home after dropping the kids at school) has been stumped. 5 hours for 5 days a week providing I don't do the housework or gardening or socialising or helping in the classroom. and get ALL the things done - emails, blogs, newsletters, accounts telephone calls etc.

I know I work best in the afternoon but smack bang in the middle of that, I have to pick up the kids from school. That that is a big way to upset the flow.

I have tried to schedule 1 hour of emails, 1 hour of writing, 1 hour of accounts but for me it doesn't work. When I have started something I want to finish it and I don't like flitting from one thing to the next. Basically I like project work. I like getting my teeth into something and feel as I have accomplished something, anything.

So I am Trying a new system of 2 hour blocks of work. I even have a timer to tell me when 2 hours are up and then I can have a drink and something to eat.

It's a good theory. At the moment in the middle of typing this - the timer has finished, my kids have returned and told me about their day and we should have afternoon tea, Oh I better do the washing up.

So tell me, what techniques do you use to get things done in your day?

Keeping smiling - I saw the sun today.

Leona

Children and the money lesson

This morning I had a heart breaking conversation with my daughter about money and what we can afford and what we can't afford. The conversation was not so unusual, Parent have that conversation all the time.

But what was heart breaking was the lessons being taught by me - that my parents taught me. And the lessons being learned by my daughter.

Problem: My daughter loves dancing and she is good at it - she does win awards. But this year she wants to add tap to her repertoire of Classical ballet, contemporary, musical theatre and jazz. Finding that little extra (over $200) just stretches the budget too far. So what am I teaching my daughter:

• You can't afford what you love to do;
• You are not worthy for this extra money; or
• You need to do without something to afford what you want;
• You need to work hard and be poor for what you love.

I would love to teach her that she can have everything she wants. I would love to teach her that anything is possible. ... but. How come there is always a but in there somewhere.

I am reviewing and planning to rewrite the lessons my parents taught me. After all they do not suit me anymore.

The world is changing and I am changing so I would like some new rules for the new world. Want to join me?

So tonight or tomorrow I will have another conversation with my daughter and try to review the problem. Maybe even ask her for a solution. Ask her how we can manifest the extra money we need so she can continue her dream and hopefully we can rewire the learning from generations past so the generations of the future have a better time working at what they love.

Now that would be a better world to live in

Leona