Life lesson in ending stuff

I had an interesting perspective this morning.

I have been doing a particularly difficult 1000 piece puzzle and it has taken me several days to do. I have done all the cathedral and now, all I had to do was finish the sky. The sky was blue and slight change in shade from light blue to dark blue. What made it extra difficult was that the puzzle pieces could easier fit in several places. This took hours of individually placing each piece in place and stepping back and looking at the overall pattern to see it fits.

This morning I packed away a puzzle.

• Yes, I had the skills to finish the puzzle
• Yes, I had the patience to finish the puzzle

But

• I could use my time doing other things
• I could use skills doing other things
• I could use my patience doing other things.

So I decided by weighting up the pros and cons that I should give up on the puzzle and pack to away (or throw it away?) and move on to something else.

My life lesson: sometimes it is better to stop doing something and just move on.

I always prided myself that I finished stuff.... mmm that's sounds like another belief worth tacking.

Oh let's rephrase it - I believe I should finish stuff. Why? Why should I finish stuff?

I had figured out this morning that sometimes the "pushing yourself to finish a task" is not worth all the other consequences that go with it.

I don't mind spending a day or two on a puzzle as a bit of time out. And, now my children are older, I can teaching them how to do difficult puzzles. It becomes a family activity. I am teaching them skills of looking for shapes and recognising patterns. Which will help them looking for things in their rooms. I can always hope.

I can always find the motivation to finish things if necessary. But what about the activities that I still haven't finished, or even better, the activities that are never finish e.g. housework.

Key word here is motivation. Somehow I need to find the motivation to finish the other activities or the motivation why I am still doing stuff.

Lets analyze the first problem: Motivation to finish.

1. What is the activity?
2. Why did I start the activity?
3. Why have I not finished the activity?
4. Has something better come along to distract me?
5. What would it mean to me to finish the activity?
6. Do I need to finish this activity?
7. Can I just leave the activity in the state is in?
8. How can I reward myself to finish it?

Second problem: Why are you still doing the activity? This flows on from the questions above but with a twist.

1. Why don't I want to finish the activity?
2. Do I enjoy this activity so much that I want to keep going?
3. Does this activity pain me and yet I continue?
4. By doing this activity - what is it stopping me doing?

For example: I did enjoy doing the puzzle it was difficult but OK fun. Then it got difficult and boring. But I continued. So...

• What is the activity? the 1000 piece puzzle
• Why did I start the activity? A time out activity with the children to do while watching TV
• Why have I not finished the activity? It is getting to difficult
• Has something better come along to distract me? No not really
• What would it mean to me to finish the activity? I could see the picture complete before putting it away again
• Do I need to finish this activity? No
• Can I just leave the activity in the state is in? No I need to pack it away. I need the room.
• How can I reward myself to finish it? No reward would be strong enough.
• Why don't I want to finish the activity? I bored with it
• Do I enjoy this activity so much that I want to keep going? No
• Does this activity pain me and yet I continue? yes
• By doing this activity - what is it stopping me doing? getting on with the mending and reading list.

By analysing the whole list of pros and cons (I have not listed them all here), it showed me that I am not a failure. Although this is the first puzzle I have given up on. I am not a failure because I made a decision that it is better to end it now and move on instead of wasting time and energy in complete a task I am not enjoying.

How many activities are there that you have that you think you should finish but can't find the motivation to finish them. Do you think you should just stop and walk away?

Leona

Decluttering notebooks of life

I have been sorting through my old notebooks. It is a very interesting process.

As a reformed hoarder I often have a mass culling of stuff and deciding what I need and what I don't need anymore. For me the reasons why I cull stuff is mostly because I don't need it need it anymore or it is no longer important. By getting rid of the old ideas I can make way for the new.

Sometimes I don't need the information anymore, because I have grown and hence is no longer relevant.

As I am going through the notebook crossing out bits and pieces, I stubble on some cherished notes or a poem that I wrote and I need to keep it so I am transferring into another notebook. Occasionally I will find some notes that I want to keep either because I still want learn the information.

It is very time consuming but very rewarding. On the physical level I am throwing out papers and reducing my notebooks. On the mental level I am shedding thoughts and ideas that no longer suit. On the spiritual level I am lighting my connection to the past and trusting that have the information I need.

Many of the notes I am getting rid of remind me that I have grown and I am happy with where I am now. I am becoming the person I want to be.

I am not hanging onto the past as proof of who I am - the past is not me. It is mealy the training ground.

Sometimes I worry that I might throw out something that I might need. But I have to trust that if need to be reminded of that lesson, an opportunity will present itself to learn it.

I am astounded of the variety of sources that I learn my information. I collect information from everywhere.

I know that I am a work in progress and I am pleased to be reminded of the growth I have done. Proof that I will keep growing into the person I want to be.

So have you got old notebooks or diaries that you are keeping. Have you re-read them? Are they still relevant to you? Maybe you no longer need them because you have grown. Be proud of yourself if you have grown. Congratulations. Declutter your life and you connection the past - to free up your future.

Leona